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"Chloe Harris" really is the pseudonym for two writers, Noelle and Barbra, who've joined forces to write intriguing and sexy stories. A quintessential eccentric southerner, Noelle seems to find a story in almost everything. Ever ambitious to change her stars, she has a degree in Communications. Barbra lives together with her cat ('Princess Mimi'), who isn't very happy that she is spending so much time on writing. But this folly of the living can opener with opposable thumbs is mostly tolerated.

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Friday, February 12, 2010

Romance Cover Hunks Anyone?

by Barbra

Man. I can't tell you how stressed out I am. Yesterday was the first day in weeks where I could relax for an hour.

So what did I do? There's always something on on TV. So I started zapping a bit until I got hung up on this channel where fortunetellers promise to (fore)tell you you'll win the lottery in 6 weeks to 6 months. You know what kind of channel I mean, don't you?

Now, don't get me wrong. I am a no-nonsense person and when you want to tell me about my aura or my energies and that you'll ask an angel for advice for me (who incidentally will only answer in a strange language that sounds like a baby blabbering to me), I don't believe you. But to each his own I always say. I, for example, read cards myself and I don't wear a gypsy's turban and wear hundreds of silver rings while staring into a crystal ball, murmuring some mystical and/or mysterious incantations. I just shuffle the cards, cut them and lay them out. That's it.

Uhh... where was I? Oh yes, the mystical life coaching session. Let me tell you, they only have hunks as employees on this channel. That's why I stopped zapping in the first place: I needed some eye candy and there it was - live on air. He has long, wavy black hair, ebony eyes and the T-shirt he wore was to tight around the shoulders. It also accentuated his V-shaped upper body. When he stepped away from the table he used for laying his cards, I realized his jeans rode dangerously low on his narrow hips. And the jeans were strategically cut so that you could see a hint of his tanned, muscular legs whenever he moved.

NO, I'M NOT KIDDING YOU. This is not some story I make up. I'm telling you I was drooling over a real life hunk on TV yesterday and it was no Hollywood A or B (or some other kind of) movie!

The hunk looked me in the eyes and said - I have to interrupt here to say that I didn't get at first what he was saying. I was too busy swallowing all that drool and wiping the rest off my chin.
He said: "My PIN is . . ."
And the first thing I thought was: "Is what? Too small? Aww, honey, don't worry, we can work around it somehow. Or it's what? Too big? Aww, sweetie, don't you know there's no such thing as too big?" *LOL*

Well, enough of that. What I'm trying to tell you is, he was a hunk who must have stepped off a romance book cover!

Maybe his mom read romances and hid them under the bed and when he was looking for his dad's hidden high gloss magazines, he found this instead and thought "This is what I'm going to look like one day come hell or high water!"

He looked a little like this guy. Although looking at that pic I immediately wonder: What the heck is that in his pants??? A Boa Constrictor? Good Lord Almighty, get me the smelling salts!

Come to think of it, that guy doesn't come close to the hunk I've seen on TV yesterday. This one's definitely more like him:

Although when seeing that pic I immediately ask what's up with those eyebrows? Like a Neanderthal man. They're not yet connected at the root of the nose, are they?

This one may be more like the hunk I've seen, but . . . see for yourself:

What's with all that fur??? Huh? Eww, gross.

Ahhh . . . *happy sigh* . . . Those old romance book covers! I've already posted about them (see my post on "Cover Art"). Kitsch as kitsch can be. Embarrassing, weren't they? But they were part of the (guilty) pleasure of reading those delectable romances. I think I already invited you then to tell me about what you did to hide the books with those telltale covers. Of course, I'm still interested in your story. Or have you met a romance cover hunk and would you like to share part of the story?


Noelle (Chloe Harris) said...

That is hilarious! I can't remember if I have met a RNH but I did love that TV show where Fabio had a contest to find the next one.

But if one more person asks me if that's my DH in the cover of Secrets of Sin I might end up on the cover of America's most wanted.:)

Barbra (Chloe Harris) said...

Wait a minute . . . You CAN'T REMEMBER??? What the . . . ???
Well, that's something that would definitely never happen to me. I'll remember yesterday's drooling hour for the rest of my life!

Yeah, those ppl asking if your husband is on the cover are very funny. Haha.
I always give them a demeaning smile, asking a curt "Who?" - that usually shuts them up.

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